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10 signs the new
Mir computer is running Windows 95
| # 10
The computer keeps asking you to "Insert Setup Disk
#3 to continue." #9 There is no space left
on the hard drive to store mission data.
#8 The computer refuses to interact with the
Mir's "Mr. Java" coffee maker.
#7 Millions of dollars are traced to phone calls
to a Redmond, WA 900#.
#6 Mir astronauts are caught stealing RAM from
other satellite's computers to keep their system
running.
#5 The Space Shuttle can no longer dock with Mir
since "the proper driver cannot be found."
#4 The system locks up whenever the astronauts
try to run life support, the solar panels and
thrusters at the same time.
#3 The astronauts spend three days looking for
cyrillic version of the CTRL-ALT-DEL keys.
#2 Alien ships secretly observing Mir flee in
terror.
And the number one sign the new Mir computer is
running Windows 95....
#1 You start receiving welcoming e-mail from the
Borg.
>^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^< |
True Meaning
of Windows
95 = Number of floppies it comes on, number of calls
to Tech Support to get it to run, the number of people
who actually bought it!
2000 = to 1, odds that it will work!
NT = Not Tested.
XP = eXperimental Product.
ME = Massive Error or...
Millennium = Approximately how long it will take to
get it running correctly.
Vista = Everyone can see the vista of your harddrive.
Longhorn = Yes, you are going to get gored!
>^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^<
Are We There Yet?
A pilot, flying a tour group, gets lost in a sudden
fog. He flies up to a building. He writes on a
posterboard, "Where are we??". The people in the
building write on their posterboard, "You're in a
helicopter!".
The pilot flies away. The passengers say, "but we
still don't know where we are!". The pilot replies, "yes
we do. We were outside the Microsoft building."
The passengers ask, "how do you know that?".
Because their reply was technically correct, and
totally useless!
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