Can You Hear Me?
A COMPUTER WAS SOMETHING ON TV
FROM A SCIENCE FICTION SHOW
A WINDOW WAS SOMETHING YOU HATED TO CLEAN....
AND RAM WAS THE COUSIN OF A GOAT.....
MEG WAS THE NAME OF MY GIRLFRIEND
AND GIG WAS YOUR MIDDLE FINGER UPRIGHT
NOW THEY ALL MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS
AND THAT REALLY MEGA BYTES
AN APPLICATION WAS FOR EMPLOYMENT
A PROGRAM WAS A TV SHOW
A CURSOR USED PROFANITY
A KEYBOARD WAS A PIANO
MEMORY WAS SOMETHING THAT YOU LOST WITH AGE
A CD WAS A BANK ACCOUNT
AND IF YOU HAD A 3 1/2' FLOPPY
YOU HOPED NOBODY FOUND OUT
COMPRESS WAS SOMETHING YOU DID TO THE GARBAGE
NOT SOMETHING YOU DID TO A FILE
AND IF YOU UNZIPPED ANYTHING IN PUBLIC
YOU'D BE IN JAIL FOR A WHILE
LOG ON WAS ADDING WOOD TO THE FIRE
HARD DRIVE WAS A LONG TRIP ON THE ROAD
A MOUSE PAD WAS WHERE A MOUSE LIVED
AND A BACKUP HAPPENED TO YOUR COMMODE
CUT YOU DID WITH A POCKET KNIFE
PASTE YOU DID WITH GLUE
A WEB WAS A SPIDER'S HOME
AND A VIRUS WAS THE FLU
I GUESS I'LL STICK TO MY PAD AND PAPER
AND THE MEMORY IN MY HEAD
I HEAR NOBODY'S BEEN KILLED IN A COMPUTER CRASH
BUT WHEN IT HAPPENS THEY WISH THEY WERE DEAD
YOU HEAR ME?
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing
problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was
sitting in her lounge chair. He
spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"
There was no response. He moved a little closer and said
again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there
was no response. Finally he moved right behind her and
said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"
BOSS ASKED FOR A LETTER DESCRIBING BOB SMITH:
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently,
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the
numbered lines (1, 3, 5, ...) for my true assessment of