*1040 EZ TAX FORM 

1. How much money did you make? $____________


2. Send it to us.

TOTAL $____________

U.S. Gov't. Form 8765309

Add

Wrong Address

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer.

Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter in the address, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the widow of a preacher who had just passed away the day before. The grief-wracked preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here".

Y2K Fix

A note from a friend of mine on the Y2K team .......

"Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December. As well as Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?

Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?

We'll await your direction."

Web Addict

Happily Addicted to the Web

(Sing to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Doorbell rings, I'm not listenin',
Hear the tea kettle whistlin',
I'm happy -- although
My boss let me go ---
Happily addicted to the Web.

All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's a crick in my wrist,
Nothin' done on my list
Happily addicted to the Web.

Friends come by but I don't even hear them
They knock upon my door but I ignore
Surfing on the web too many hours
I've been on all day but still want more.

I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away...
I'm happily addicted to the Web!

Spell

My New Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
-Sauce unknown